Things To Talk About With Your Boyfriend To Fix A Relationship When I’ve Relationship Problems & Relationship Questions.
Oh, gosh, have I made mistakes in the past, namely, turning to family and friends for relationship advice!
Relationship advice needs to come from a professional relationship advice coach, not a friend, because, really, is what is coming out of their mouth relationship advice or is it really relationship sabotage?
They will always have a biased STRONG opinion based upon their own dating history, and unless they themselves are a relationship advice coach, it’s most likely a form of control (“you should _____”), or pleading without all the facts (“please just dump him now”), or gossip (“I heard he’s a two timer or why else would he be on the phone with Alexis?”).
This ends up as relationship advice mistakes.
If you follow their opinion, it will drive the man farther away and he’ll perceive you as playing games.
All of that “relationship advice” from your friends or family is not based upon sound effective action to take and just prolongs the real missed opportunity which is for you to (*radical idea coming atcha*) talk to your guy!
I invite you to watch my video on this topic by clicking here.
Now you see from the video!
The things to talk about with your boyfriend are the relationship problems you are experiencing in order to deepen your connection. Of course, if there is ever physical or verbal violence, those are not things to talk about with your boyfriend…those are things to leave your boyfriend over!
It’s true…appropriate non-blaming discussion with your boyfriend about relationship problems will bring him close!
It’s all about sharing your feelings with him. Then he knows where your heart is.
You can’t go wrong with saying “I feel angry” as a “wow” self-awareness that something that happened in the relationship triggered you.
I had a client with a boyfriend who promised to come over and mow her yard when she was under a great workload from her office.
Despite the promise, he didn’t show up on the Saturday as planned and instead went to a baseball game.
She felt so angry.
Now, that was her choice to feel angry. He didn’t force her to feel angry.
Another woman might have said, “Oh no problem. Have fun at the game. I’ll get to it Sunday and it might be a good release.”
So feeling angry is a triggered response from your past.
But to stuff it down and pretend it’s not there, makes the boyfriend feel out of connection.
Running to friends to complain, “How undependable of him! I can’t count on him!” will only elicit more agreement and more distancing from the boyfriend or husband.
However if you bypass the friends and when you’re capable of stating “When I heard about the game instead of mowing the lawn I discovered I felt so angry instead of just being okay with it.”
Then he knows where you stand, and he doesn’t feel blamed. You just connected.
That’s the best!!
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