Dating Tips For Women When Dating A Guy And The Best Way To RespondWow. This video below is so very interesting when it comes to dating a man and knowing if the guy is into you.
But not only that, it shows how EARLY in our development we become confused over “is he going to ask me out” or not.
I tell the story of talking to teen girls with what they would do if they got a text from a guy they had checked out that said “Hey. What’s happenin’ this weekend?”
Please watch my video on this topic here.
I love giving dating tips for girls simply so they don’t make dreaded mistakes when dating guys.
However, since I’ve been a relationship coach to adult women, I’ve discovered that they believe the same way as the teen girls!
Let’s sort out the maze of men’s meanings.
If we are in a non-romantic situation, we tend to keep our wits about us…our common sense.
We can be wise and “read” people and situations.
As soon as we want/need/desire/are-hoping-for a situation to “go our way” to “fulfill our needs” then we lose our common sense.
We start “reading into” situations with information that is not there.
In fact we start to gloss over and fill-in with what we WANT in our life.
Thus, if a fairly new guy sends a “What’s happening this weekend” text, you will assume he wants you.
That he wants to ask you out.
That he wants you for his girlfriend.
That he wants to take you out that weekend.
BUT, he didn’t ask you on a date.
Maybe, just maybe, a part of you realizes that truth. But then you start to ask yourself why won’t he ask me out? Or is he afraid to ask me out?
This confusion often leads to both a “making excuses” for his not-asking-you-out behavior (he’s shy, he’s damaged, etc.) and you start feeling undesirable.
You want to discover what went wrong and want answers why doesn’t he ask me out and with hopeful thinking you daydream about when will he ask me out?
If you jump in with texting him your exact schedule (too much information for a guy), your availability for a date that weekend (too pushy/he didn’t ask you out) and hit “send” he will think the following:
- Wait a minute
- Wait a minute, I think she’s pushing for a hook-up.
Again, he didn’t ask, you might have been hoping that he was wanting a date, so you filled in the blanks that he had actually asked, and glossed over the fact he didn’t.
But, he texted me.
Yes, he texted you.
Dating a guy has to start somewhere, as in an actual invitation.
There are many real stories of friends with benefits dating and then it’s tough to escape that kind of situation for most women.
It’s best not to through common sense out the window at the beginning.
Hey you might even do this with a job interview.
The possible employer says, “Thanks for coming in. This went well. We’ll be getting back to those we are interested in very soon.”
If you are HOPING for the job, you just heard, “We want you. We want you badly.”
If you still had your common sense wits about you, you heard, “I have a slim-to-none chance of getting this job callback.”
Back to the men…
Men do what men want to do.
Lock and load that.
If a man wants to ask you out, he will say, “Do you want to go out with me Friday at 8?”
There will be no room for confusion.
If he wants to marry you, he will say, “Will you marry me?”
If he says, “Someday marriage would be right for me,” he did not propose nor even remotely say that marriage included YOU.
The signs of a guy that likes you are undeniable.
Every woman I know needs some advice for dating to realize how to perceive texts from a guy.
Therefore, if a man sends a text (which a majority do with these EXACT words), “What’s happening this weekend?” the best thing to do is NOT to send him this:
“Oh, hey, FINALLY you’re acknowledging I’m alive!!! JK. Ok, Friday I have an eyebrow wax at 5pm, then a quick study thing for a project at 6. I could work you in around 7:30p but at 9p I have to go to a dinner (unless you want me to cancel??). Saturday a.m. I have hot yoga, then I have to help my sister move (want to help us????!!!!), and I’d say I’d free up Saturday about 6pm could shower and be ready to go by 8. Were you thinking dinner? Movie? Other? Let me know. This will be fun!!!!!!” (*string of emojis*)
Do you get why this is TOO MUCH INFORMATION for a man?
Here’s what to respond, since he didn’t ask a question:
Mmmm. I feel ________.
Fill in the blank with how you feel right then and there and hit send.
If I tried to explain the powerful effect that this has on a man, you’d never believe me.
Experiment. See for yourself.
I love having you feel surprised.
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