Facebook And Relationships…What A Girlfriend Needs For Successful Relationships
Thinking about a boyfriend’s Facebook relationship status is a hot topic for girlfriends– and maybe for you. The “needs” from you, for your boyfriend, to do something with his Facebook relationship status may cover a wide spectrum given the type of guy you are dating and how far along you are with him.
I don’t want that little bit of information of the relationship status on Facebook to drive you into feeling crazy.
You may want the guy you’re dating to change his Facebook relationship status to “In A Relationship” early in the dating process– as in less than 3 months in.
I’ve seen women feel very upset if it doesn’t change…fast.
Of course to a guy, 3 months, even 6 months, is too early for them to know what they want to do with you long term. Changing that relationship status on Facebook is going to cause attention fast from friends and family and … a lot of questions.
Questions that your boyfriend may not want to deal with before he knows what he wants with you.
It’s best for a healthy relationship in the long run to lay the foundation for a good relationship by not pressuring him.
Releasing any expectation that he announces to the Internet world that you and he are together is a great start and sage dating advice.
My dating advice is always: what is the QUALITY of this boyfriend with you? Does he talk a good game but is never around? That guy will never change his Facebook relationship status and I don’t want you to care if he does.
I want you in those situations to move on to date another guy who does want to show up in front of you, cherishing you, because that is a good relationship.
Please watch my video on this topic here.
Now you might be a woman who doesn’t want your boyfriend to announce to the world that you both are in a relationship on Facebook’s timeline and most definitely in that relationship status on Facebook pinned daily for all to see.
You may still be dating others because you seek a healthy relationship over the ego-gratification of just being in any old relationship and getting to announce it to family and friends.
If you feel desperate to Just. Get. Him. To. Say. You. Are. A. Couple to everyone (especially his family and friends) remember that boyfriends don’t care about that stuff as much as you. See this article I did on that subject here.
You may feel more comfortable being a private person and Internet PDA isn’t your thing. You may seek a healthy relationship first before you have the confidence to broadcast the evolving situation.
You may also find that a guy that you’re dating is a little too jealous and possessive which are not signs of a healthy relationship and my dating advice there is to definitely not have him change his Facebook relationship status, or yours for that matter, and just avoid any breakup issues down the road if his possessiveness feels terrible and you want out.
I have heard of girlfriends in super unhealthy relationships and they want to STAY with their abusive boyfriend and…he has blocked them from their Facebook as even a friend!
In those cases, these women have no idea what the boyfriend’s relationship status is on Facebook!
And there are long term couples who block each other on Facebook as punishment. Yikes.
My relationship advice for women is to heal the problem that lead to that development.
This is why focusing on good relationships, and healthy relationships with a quality boyfriend who can be hugely loving towards you over time is far, far, far more important than relationship statuses on Facebook, despite the social popularity.
Now if you are feeling bad that he hasn’t changed his relationship status over there at Facebook, and you find yourself, checking it daily (or hourly!) – I want you to stop.
That checking-up-on-him action, plus the expectation that he announce he’s in a relationship, is all going to cause you pain. Because I promise you, if you think that little phrase on Facebook in the relationship status will bring you a greater sense of love and connection—it won’t.
Sure, you may have a “high” for a couple of days if he changes his relationship status of Facebook to in a relationship with YOU, but then whatever it is that the boyfriend ISN’T doing to make you feel secure already, will come rushing back in and you’ll need a bigger “fix” to fix the problem of him not making you feel like his girlfriend beyond a label.
Then you’ll need the ring, and if he’s not proposing, you don’t need to create more pressure on him. Guys run over stuff like that.
See the Facebook relationship status need is symbolic that you need something external to Band-Aid over the wound that is developing because he’s not being a great boyfriend to you. If he was, you’d forget about Facebook. Really.
My relationship advice for women is to play the field and date, date, date because you need to pick the guy out of the field who is the winner for YOUR life.
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